November 14th 1973

“Day Off – Went into Eastleigh – Went to see Everything you ever…”

When David Reuben sold off the film rights to his 1969 sex manualEverything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)” to comedian film maker Woody Allen he surely MUST have known Allen was going to parody it mercilessly?

Parody it Allen did, taking little more than chapter titles as a starting point for his bizarre comedy sequences.

Let’s have a quick list of some of the comedic moments shall we?…

• With references to Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” throughout, the sequence entitled Do Aphrodisiacs Work? finds Woody playing a court jester trying to seduce his Queen (played by Lynn Redgrave) after giving her a love potion. Not accepting defeat when he discovers she is wearing a chastity belt.

Gene Wilder plays a doctor who falls in love with a sheep.

• A TV Game show entitled “What’s My Perversion” (An idea that was quite preposterous in 1973 but now seems akin to a likely addition to the fall schedules on VH1)

• A surreal sequence where a giant breast is chased across the countryside

• The final skit is set inside a man’s body – as he attempts to seduce a woman. Workers in a control center in the man’s brain (including  Tony Randall and Burt Reynolds) send commands to the soldier-like sperm, dispatching them SAS-style into the great unknown.

I would hate to think that I learned anything about sex from this movie in 1973. I did (eventually) cultivate an appreciation for Woody Allen movies that lasted for at least another couple of decades, but I secretly suspect that – in 1973 – the promise of female cinematic nudity and a certain “I shouldn’t be seeing this film” teenage subterfuge were my primary reasons for spending an afternoon in Eastleigh’s Regal.


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