“In evng went to All Saints and screwed all the chairs. Walked all way to top of Des Road under Val’s umbrella (cor! she’s got big tits)”
Was my double entendre intended? I’m sure it must have been, even if the sentence makes NO sense whatsoever, nor do I have even the vaguest clue to what it refers. Was I doing some kind of religious DIY at 15 years old, maybe repairing church pews or something?
More important was my wander ‘up the road’ with (my crush) Val and her womanly appendages, presumably spotted despite layers of clothing and a raincoat.
I apologise to all readers of a sensitive disposition for using the word ‘tits’ and sounding so terribly sexist about it.
However, I do hope her umbrella was of suitable size to keep ’em both dry.