September 10th 1972

“Bludy argument. They are both deliberately avoiding each other”

I repeat my previously expressed discomfort at discovering all these references to my parents arguments in my diary.

The fact that I referred to the rows so regularly seems to prove I was more affected by them than I ever let on to others at the time.

Thing is – and what continues to make nonsense of their arguments – after Dad met Mum (she was an au pair for a well-to-do couple near where my Dad stayed whenever he came home from the Merchant Navy) he was entirely devoted to her for the rest of her life.

However bad things were in 1972, I can honestly say they surely couldn’t have been any worse than it was for the pair of them in the decade immediately preceeding Mum’s passing in 2005.

Sadly, all her life her depression often managed to get the better of her. The medical remedies used to try and cure her were, at times, neanderthal and scary.

I wonder now if my comments represented me somehow asking myself if they would ever get divorced and/or how it might affect me? The ‘D’ word was – to my knowledge – never mentioned though. Usually, the pair of them would bicker and verbally tussle for a day or so – avoiding each other as I mention – and then things would quickly get back on an even keel again. I’m guessing that most couples go through this kind of thing – I know me and my wife do – but I wonder if people realise just how much effect it resonates with their children?

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